The Art of Seduction
by Felinis
Summary: In which Yuri seduces a guard in drag


**Felinis:I blame tumblr for this**

"You gotta be kidding." Yuri blurted as the party looked at him with greedy and eager eyes. "There is no way in hell I am seducing a guard. Judy, you do it!"

Judith tilted her head back forth playfully. "But, it be more fun dressing up you."

"The answer is no. That's Spanish for no fucking way. "

Estelle looked at him with huge puppy eyes that would likely crumble a lesser man. "But… Yuri I think you'd look so pretty in a dress!"

"Why do I have to wear a dress!?"

Karol just crosses his arms. "Well, why would the guard want another guy seducing him?"

"They're called gays or Flynn, Karol."

Karol blinks. "Wait, Flynn's gay?" He stops and holds out a stern finger. "Wait, no getting us off track! Yuri, seduce the guard!"

Yuri huffs in annoyance because the humor has well since worn off. Not that it was ever there. "Look, I look nothing like a girl. I don't have the right build or voice or frankly even the right face. I'm just beautiful."

"Way to talk yourself up." Karol mutters as the girls just examine him with hungry eyes. They turn and start whispering and Yuri's well-honed instincts say run like the goddamn wind. As he gently starts to creep away he feels a hand grab from behind and he's locked into a vice-grip by Karol. "Where are you going?"

"Ehehe. Just anywhere but here."

Judith smiles and joins Karol and pinning him down. "Oh, but the fun is just starting."

"Estelle?" Yuri looks to see a mad glint that he remembers a few times Flynn giving him when Yuri did something stupid like forget to cook dinner. Oh, fuck.

Five hours later Yuri has come to a conclusion he'd been suspecting but had yet to confirm. All women are evil, and heels are devils magic! The girls had done their absolute best to torture Yuri by putting him in a black dress leather corseted dress that was so tight if it wasn't cut mid-thigh he doubt he could walk. He was sweating so much underneath the sheer sleeves. The chicken cutlets and padding gave the illusion of curves and cleavage, but were the most uncomfortable things in the world. Not to mention… Judith gave him panties and forced Yuri to tuck… It was just… Somebody kill him. The skirt of the dress was long but in the end just to leather flaps that showed off his legs to a disturbing degree, and yes, he'd been thoroughly shaved, paired with matching stiletto heels. Yuri's hair was done high in a loose bun while his neck adorned with a thick lace choker and red pendant. Makeup was caked painting his lips the most brilliant, or revolting, shade of scarlet and his popped against a bizarre green. If Yuri was to give his honest opinion on his appearance he hated it.

The girls had made sure that he could walk the walk and all that. And… Yuri will proudly say he proclaimed his hatred as he somehow barely managed to stay aloft in five-inch heels. Judith seemed impressed he was still alive. When the girls finally deemed Yuri ready he entered the lobby to hear a profound whistle from Karol.

"Wow Yuri! I barely recognized you."

Yuri simply smiled in a way that said I will kill all of you for this and blame it on Cumore and his stupid little codpiece. "Karol," He said in his best attempt to sound girly which sounded like a shitty drag queen. "don't push it."

Judith handed him a fan gold tipped red feathered fan. "Best of luck! Now strut your stuff and make the guild proud."

"Oh, Judy, if there is one thing I am certain of there's nothing to be proud of." He took the fan and aggressively waved it in place of his middle finger.

Estelle giggled. "The sooner you seduce the guard the sooner you can get changed."

Yuri took a deep breath and recomposed his hate filled face. He walked out and ignored the looks from the people on the street and the few catcalls. Ugh, after this Yuri was changing his name and moving to some far-off town in Hypionia. As he approached the guard he flicked the fan and gave his best bedroom eyes at the guard. He coyly lowered the fan and smirked. The man on guard stiffens an Yuri trying not to gag at the middle-aged man with thinning hair and pot belly. The man stiffens and awkwardly grins at him.

Yuri approaches slowly. He makes his steps dramatic and long both for effect, and so he will not trip in these shoes. He shuts the fan and bites his lip, mostly from frustration. Yuri turns his head away as his façade momentarily cracks. EW! Why is he actually falling for this? Isn't Yuri's height a bit of a clue? Or is this guard that desperate? Calm down. He twirls a lock of hair and subtly as he can manage tosses his head a bit back in a follow me way.

The knight swallows and points at himself desperately. "M-me?!"

Yuri just beckons with a hand as he slides a hand on his leg. He will kill Judith for this! Yuri takes a step back and when he sees the guard following he quickens his pace a little.

"Hey, how much further we going, gorgeous?"

"Oh, just a bit more." Yuri says waving the fan to hide how much he hates this.

"You got a funny voice. But, hey with looks like yours ya don't need one."

As they turn the corner the guard goes to make a move but Yuri knees him immediately in the stomach and punches him upside the head. The others crawl out of the shadows and look at Yuri's fine work.

"Wow." Estelle says her eyes lit with passion. "Yuri you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met!"

 **felinis: So for inktober I've been doing pure tales themed pics. Go check out my Tumblr felinisfeloney . tumblr . com for all that good shit**


End file.
